Three fucking years

Almost one year didn't touch this blog at all. Soooo many things have happened, friends come and go, having friendship problems like as if its my daily meals. I guess that wasn't as impactful as ending a 3 years relationship. I'm damn lazy to write in my diary so i'm here. I sort of gave up writing a diary. Because sometimes i'm writing for someone but it always turns out in a way that i didn't expected. It has been almost 3 weeks since the incident happened. Ironic, 3 years relationship and now it has been 3 weeks. I beat myself up for what happened, but i guess when such things happened, it won't be just one party's fault. It takes two hands to clap, no matter how badly i want to try to fix things, or pull out the root of the problem, if the other party don't even want to fix it, i won't have the enough strength to pull out the root.

I know it's gonna take time for me to recover, and i know i have to do it.

I can't run forever, i have to face everything that is brought in front of me. I'll be badly wounded, but i can heal faster. I'm addicted to traveling, because it takes my mind off things that i don't wish to think about. End of the day, i can tell myself i did tried my very best to get him back.

I'll grow up, be mature, learn from my mistakes and live a better happier life.