):

Watched this anime.
& i wonder to myself..
When will i be able to experience the excitement, happiness, anticipation and the taste of love again ?

Remember the first time, he held my hand. Heart kept beating faster and faster, was very shy.
The first time he hugged me, the warmth and the close distance of us.
Remember the first time, he kissed me on my lips. It was shocking as though my heart skipped a few beats.
When we get together and we missed each other just after a few seconds/minutes when we hung up on the phone.
We sms-ed each other with sweet short messages that expresses our feelings clearly, like, i love you, i miss you, are u tired today, remember to drink lots of water, etc.
We laughed over the smallest yet silliest thing when we are together.

All these.. it was such a wonderful memory which i would never want it to disappear. However, I'm unable to experience all these feeling again. Because, he's not the same as before.
He don't hug me the same way as before, when you can feel that he can't bear to leave you, when you can feel that he wants to stay this way forever. No.. The way he hug has a different feeling now. Fast, anything and coldness, because i can't feel that he wanna hug me forever, and i can't feel the warmth anymore.

He don't kiss me the same way as before. In the past, he would kiss me lightly and i can feel that he would never want us to open our eyes again. However, now, he would just give me a peck and straight away continue what he's doing.

Sms, phone calls are all of course different. I don't have the strength to even continue this post. I want my love back.

Maybe our relationship had long ago became cold and boring just that we never have the chance to think and realize it ourselves.

How much i wished that i could really turn back time....

xiiaozhu-