How will the future be like ??

Haha This is the supper jinmay drew for me that night. (:(: Thanks ah may !! :D Wooo. It's yummy. HAHA.
Time don't wait for you. It will just keep ticking away. I don't know man, but when things get better, i get scare.
We did talked about the future these few days.
You told me that i will stil be with you in the future, but can u guarantee ? No you can't. Each day, I'm preparing already.
I got myself mentally prepared that one day you might leave me. Because i don't believe in forever when there's no trust. I dare to admit and it's the fact that i do not have much trust in you. That's why i know in the future we surely will have many many more problems on trust.
Like during our working days, you have your own job and I'll have mine. There are surely many many more obstacles we have to face.
But without trust, everything or every problem's difficulty has times 2. & it's twice harder to solve or overcome the problems.

I seriously don't know how to survive. I'm serious with you and you are the one i wanna settle down with, it might be possible and it might not be possible.

I always tell myself whats mine will be mine, not mine it will never be mine. I wanna try to believe in this phrase, but somewhere in my heart tells me that still, i need to work hard for happiness so that it would be mine. My friends always tell me to try let go of you, and if in the end you still ended with me then you're fated to be with me. But I'm always afraid. I'm afraid that once i let go of you, I'm letting go of my own happiness forever.

I really don't know what and which to believe. I wish god or whoever can guide me through.
xiiaozhu-