FUCK

Emo night tonight. Zzzz.
All the nightmares just came back to me. It's terrible, and i shld have went to sleep without eating mac at night so all these thoughts would have never come back to me.
Yucks.
Those days are really hell.
And i swear, those days were the last, i would never let myself sink into that stage ever again.

Why did i stepped into your life? Why did i let myself to fall so deep that i almost got stucked? There's soooo many regrets that i wish i could turn back time and change everything. I would never wanna meet you, i would never know a person like you and i would never, ever, wanna fall in love with you. You're scary. Fucking scary. The worse nightmare of all.
Worse than cockroaches. Tsktsktsk.

When things lingers onto me, i wonder, did i did wrong? Is this the wrong choice? Was i wrong? Was my decisions all wrong? If i wasn't wrong, why does it sticks to me like a glue? Something that went on for YEARS, and i can't even let go of it. Why? Is it really my fault that it has been haunting me for YEARS and it would keep haunting me?
Answer, yes I'm wrong but the other party is also in the wrong as well. But is the other party living better than me? If the other party is living better than me, does this means that what i did was worse than the other party ? Therefore, I'm suffering a little more than the other party?

Okay i should stop all these crap.
I'm serious with you, oh yes I'm fucking serious with you.
But, at some point of time, there will always be this fear in me. I wish so hard that it would fucking go away but it's fucking not going away. I want that fucking fear to disappear, i want it to be fucking smooth that i fucking don't have to feel fucking frustrating at night or fucking think so fucking much about things. I fucking wish some fucking things would not fucking happen on me and so i would fucking be living a fucking easy and happy life right now. I wish i fucking could protect myself from being hurt, but i know.. some fucking things are fucking unavoidable.

THE END. FUCK.