Can't make up your mind mind mind

I need to play basketball or anything can make me vent all my anger. This time blasting music is not even sufficient.
I'm getting impatient, I'm focusing on the bad points. When you say these, did you ask yurself WHY?! So you expect me to be patient like FOREVER?! There will be a day when I'll explode. Okay what's the point of saying these because YOU STILL WON'T UNDERSTAND. You think i never think from your shoes? I know how you feel and everything. EVER PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOES?! I have to be alone most of the time, independent would be the right word. I have to be understanding, i have to be patient. I have to be this this this that that that. I'M TRYING ALSO, YOU'RE TRYING YOUR BEST IM NOT?!
Why i cannot be truthful to you? Don't hide anything and just express all my feelings to you.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. A lot of questions right?
ASK YOURSELF LA. Even if i answer your question for you, YOU WON'T BE SATISFIED WITH THE ANSWER AND YOU WILL KEEP ASSUMING AND ASSUMING AND THEN YOU WILL KEEP DEFENDING AND DEFENDING AND THEN YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME AGAIN.

When can you sit down keep quiet and listen me to pour everything out? Everytime i haven't even say finish you will have A LOT to add on.
If to you I'm being impatient now den SUA i speechless.
I alrdy being SUPER PATIENT until I CANNOT ALRDY.
Okay nvm, u also won't get it.

What's the point of saying SO MUCH when the person you're trying to pour out to don't get it? Right? SO i chose to SHUT UP and just listen to YOU.
Good job bev. Good job. Idk what happen to you alrdy.
I cannot rmb myself being straightforward and evrything alrdy.
Maybe it's time for me to change as well.

Tomorrow I'll just lie down and star at the sky and maybe they will give me answers that i need.
I'm not relying on cigarette bcus i don't want to disappoint anyone. (Y)!!!!!!!
bye