Hatred is unwanted

Idk why i suck at keeping my emotions to myself. I've always wanted to learn how to hold my tears but this ain't easy.
I will hate the both of you, i will ALWAYS hate the both of you. I will never let go of this grudge till the day the both of you DIE.
I know i was at the bottom, but i fight hard just to climb up to the top in order to get more of your attention, to get more of your love and dote. But the higher i climbed, the harder i fall and i don't fall by myself. You are the one who pushed me down.

I don't mind getting lightning to strike me just to have a chance to slap you.

This is why i HATE people expressing their love to me through MONEY. If you think MONEY is more impt than anything, then i make sure i steal ALL your money, gamble off, make us ALL bankrupt. I wanna see what are you left with.

Okay enough of all these. I'm giving up.

Anyw today went to school for lecture, just a very short one. (: paint @ 1st ave and den talk a bit here and there w R04, i really miss them. Now I'm home, will be doing a bit of research for my PS later and then do RJ when I'm back home. Had lunch w brian & ker altho i ate just a little. Stomach really grew smaller after having period. Sucks.

I don't feel the urge, i no longer feel the excitement. I guess this would be good for me also. =/

What if I'm dying and catching my last breath, who will i be able to see for the last time?