Is that it ?

Yah go ahead and hate me if u want. Listen to one side story, have u all ever thought of asking me ? But i think it's stupid anyway, cause you guys already believed him so what for if i told you MY side of story.
I thought because i exprienced the same thing as you, i thought you would totally understand how i feel or maybe even asked me about it. But instead, you believed the other one.
Then i think it's hopeless for me to explain further or what already.

Up till now, i only can blame myself for being so stupid, believing every word of his. Believing his promises. Naive. I'll take this lesson and learn from it.
Yeah so what this ends a friendship. I don't want this kinda bastard to be my friend, it's a shame.
Seriously i don't know why I'm typing all these. Woah, i think if some people see this they would say I'm stupid again. HAHAHA.

Alright, good bye to him. I know he don't love me anymore, and i know our memories he had already erased them. I know that he had forgot about the happiness and of course, me. But now, i don't care already. (:
Of course, i have to thank him for both the happiness and unhappiness he had gave me. (:
Those memories might be an important part in my life. I'll never erase it, I'll just put it aside and maybe look back at it once in a while. Because I'm a person who treasure and cherish memories, which might be a good and bad point. Haha. Anyway, thanks for everything shannon.
I just wanna thank those important people who were there for me. Being my listening ear, and of course sorry for disturbing them in the middle of the night and everything. (:

Great thanks to my parents who are always there with me, supporting me.
& my cousin of course, who would be A GREAT HELP to me. :D

xiiaozhu-

Run out of words to say

Came here to blog a while before sleeping. Haha.
Just finished my stupid project outline. YAWNS. I wonder if i could wake up tomorrow morning if Kereen calls me. Haha.

Today went to get MC and then met Rac at TM. (: It's been so so long since I've met her, still i enjoyed times going out with her. Cause she always made me laugh till i could forget all my unhappiness. Haha. At first i was moody, but then when we went to arcade, things got different. Hahaha. I suddenly felt the joy of having fun.
Saw Chris and guys at Seoul Garden. Such a coincidence!
We played basketball, and she wanted to try see her card can use in Timezone. She thought the card scanner is those you tap on it. HAHAHA so she actually use her card and tap on it like 3 times i think ? HAHAHAHA I LAUGHED LIKE SHIT! Because timezone card you're suppose to swipe it in between. HAHAHA!!! Even now the thought of it makes me smile. LOL!
Played basketball, our score was P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C! hahaha! and i seriously don't know how i shoot until the ball went to the next machine. HAHA and then the next machine guy shoot and the ball hits me. HAHAHA! I can't stop laughing.

Walked around and we had some laughters before she went off to meet her family while i went off to Century Square to look for them. Stayed there for quite some time deciding where to go and in the end we went to Central for dinner. Yx and philbert went off then we went off to E!hub for movie ! :D Decided on bride wars since inkheart is something like bedtime stories. Before the movie started went to play pool.
I'm getting a little better, thanks to Chris ! Haha, he taught me a lot. (:
Overall the movie is not bad, touching at the end which made me shed a few tears. It's not THAT funny but it's not such a bad movie.
Then we all went separate ways. I got home and heard some stuffs that i wished i didn't heard. Thanks for that 2 person who listened to me on the phone. Woah and talked to Chris for quite a long time. I WANNA SEE HIS DOG REAL REAL SOON ! Omg, i heard her bark and i can't wait to see how adorable is she !! Hahaha.

& i got another "new" friend. Hahaha. Not really new cause i knew him long ago but we didn't talk much. Meet up soon ! :D & finally able to see Ali after SOOOOO long. Haha.
Can't wait for tomorrow !! :D I'm gonna eat all of you guys money !! HAHA!

xiiaozhu-

My room is so so much more neater now. Hahaha. Kkk i come to blog a while, then I'll go chat with my friendssss then I'll read my storybooks or maybe watch some tv.
A load off my heart.
I realize all this while, I'm together with a person who has NO BALLS, NO GUTS. Like I'm with a girl. LOL! So cool.

Anyway. I went out after dinner and now I'm back home! Kinda early right. Hahaha but i think I'm feeling wayyyyy better these few days already.
Thanks friend. (: For accompanying me.
& Rachael ! You're still so lame !! HAHA.

off to storybook !
xiiaozhu-

He would get his retributions. (:

Checkered

FUCKING HOT.

Crystal jade for lunch. LOL!

She's fucking high.

Me and my botak korkor. xD

Naughty! LOL

Before this, she's lying flat on the ground.

The amount of food available in my kitchen. LOL.

Nice right.

Hard work. Haha.

My new book shelf at the left. (:

I could just spill everything out on the blog. But I'm not gonna stoop to that kinda level for that kinda bastard. I finally saw his true colours, i think i was blind back then. Alright, now i won't even shed a single tear for him anymore. In fact, i have no idea how happy i am right now. I'm stronger than i thought. He's such a bastard that sometimes i look at myself and thinking omg I'm full of his germs. But sigh, he's kinda pathetic because his mum is busy working and has no time to discipline him and now he becomes like this. Sigh sigh sigh.

Some people buy his story, nevermind go ahead and hide. Just a coward, and i will pity any girl who gets together with you. Maybe i should remind the girl beforehand and if she still wants you, it reminds me of myself. Stupid and naive. Hahaha. Alright, i think I'm gonna stop here first. Cause i better blog something else before going for dinner.

Hehe i woke up today in the afternoon, was fucking tired. Then rushed down to TM to meet my parents n grandparents at crystal jade for lunch. After that, my grandparents went home and we went to watch the movie wedding game. HEY I SHED 2 DROP OF TEARS! hahahaha! OH AND LOOK AT THE BOOKS I BOUGHT. He's fucking hot i swear. Hahaha. Thanks mummy for the books ! :D Forgot to go to Yamaha. Haha.

Went to buy food for my brother and went home after that. Was about to leave for my cousin house but then my parents decided to come back. Anyway, I'm still going out later and then tmr there's school.

I'll update you guys about that bastard k ! Hahaha.

I can't wait for Friday to come and I'm more excited AFTER Friday! HAHA I suddenly love my cousin so so much. LOL! My heart filled with excitement and joy. EVILLLL~~ HAHAHA

Thanks to those who actually are willing to believe me. (: When you see this, i think some of you know who you are. Haha.

xiiaozhu-

Happy CNY

Hello everybody ! Haha Happy Chinese New Year to everyone ! Hope everyone got many many ang baos and had a great time during these few days ! :D

I won't say i haven't had a great time. I'm happy i won quite an amount of money ! Hahaha.

Saturday

Went out with his friends at first to play bball but then it was v late alrdy and i didn't manage to buy my books ! T.T Haha then we went to slack at i think seashell park if that's what they call it. I love the 2 cats over there !! SO SO CUTE. Played cards, then gamble also then went to meet Benjie, wanted to watch movie but was worried about his whereabouts so i went downstairs my house. As usual, he bought a few bottles. I drank 2 bottles or lesser and puked already. Haha. Met him in the morning to like talk things out. Fuck it.



Sunday, CNY eve.

Woke up quite late and then prepared for reunion dinner at my grandma house. Steamboat again ! Hahaha. Then we went home after dinner and some slacking. Watched tv till late night and my parents went to chinatown again. (they does that every year).



Monday, HAPPY CNY ! :D

Woke up, prepared and then my cousin drove us to my mother's godmother's house. Next to another house and then back to my grandma house. Got all the ang baos already and we gambled today. (: Can say i won quite an amount. Quarrelled again, fuck. Then went to watch the movie Love Matters with Benjie, MingJie, Stella and Keith. Great people to mix with. Hahaha MingJie went off after the movie, while we bought coke thinking that we're gonna mix with Vodka when realizing that Keith can only stay at Tampines. So we played cards and the loser have to drink up 1/8 of the bottle. LOL. NOT NICE. Had so so much laughters under the block. Hahaha.

Keith is cute. (: His laughter is contagious.

Went over to Benjie condo to drink somemore. SNOWY IS NO LONGER THERE. *cries*

Sat under the shelter and played cards, me Benjie and Stella. Shldn't have played that game with Benjie cause we kept losing to him. -.- Then we kept drinking, drinking. In the end, me n stella got drunk. LOL! Seriously Stella is worse than me. She can just lie flat on the ground. LOL! We reached home like 8plus am i think. Went to my house to get some rest. I woke up like 11plus due to some vibration and all the trouble started.
27 Jan marks the end of this 2 years 5 months of relationship. I gotta let go of this bastard. Thanks to those people who are willing to believe me and thanks for the encouragement and advice, especially ZT. (:
Alright ! I'm gonna do something and then I'm gonna have my beauty sleeeeeppp. LOL

xiiaozhu-

River of tears

He came in the afternoon unhappily. Sighs, cooked lunch for him but his face has no smile and he's not even thankful about it. All i can do is pretend that i don't care. Talked a little and nothing good came out. We didn't quarrel, is just that i cry over those hurtful words again. Sighs.
He went for work and i went to school to print out all my macro stuff. Didn't get MC so my RA only can a P grade no matter how well i pass. No choice, RA is hopeless to me, seriously. No matter how hard i study for RA i just can't do it. Maybe RA is really not my subject.

Went home to get my matrix card and what's irritating is that i can't find my calculator ! Went to school and meet the clique before going into the room. Finished the paper earliest and hurried home but i waited for bus 5 for like more than 25mins ! I'm getting so impatient at the bus stop that i have to walk around here and there. The test was alright, just that my hand's aching after the paper.
Bought long john's home for dinner and watched tv with my dad. Now I'm using the comp, watching sky of love AGAIN. I bet I'm gonna cry again at the ending part. LOL. Tomorrow can't go out cause my dad asked me to help out at home ! Zzzz Sorry girls, how i wish i could go out with you guys. ): Another time alright.

I believe things would be better. (:
xiiaozhu-

This sucks

No wonder how suck, how tough, how suffering it is, i guess i still have to pull through if i really want to. Friends, you guys would support me right ?
Now it's like 6.40am and I'm awake doing my macro individual proj. It is even more sickening when i couldn't find the second article.

His words kept ringing in my mind, in my head. Confusing me, making me feel sad and hurt at the same time. After the finding of him the whole night, i finally felt relieved that he's finally home. (:
Sometimes i tell my friends about their relationship, but when it comes to me, i can't do it. Are girls always at the losing end ? Are girls always the one putting in too much feelings, commitment and effort in a relationship causing them to suffer at the very end ?
I don't know what i must do to make myself feel better. Just the thought of him, with those bunch of people is enough to torture me.

Nevermind i shall finish up my second article, and go to sleep asap.

xiiaozhu-

Improving

Alright i woke up and prepare myself for school ! Haha. Went to school, it was kinda fine at first, but then PORM teacher talked to our group and i admitted that i didn't put in equal effort. I might fail my coursework but i guess this is a fact that can't be changed anymore. She's very understanding, she'll let me know what i should do about it so I'll just wait for her answer. (:
She suggested a counsellor to me, I'm still thinking about it, sounds kinda serious. LOL.
Sorry to my groupmates. ):
Now I'm working hard on other projs like Macro already. Hope I'm able to catch up. Thanks for the support and motivation/pushing you guys gave. (:

Went to have lunch outside school, had laughters and i guess I'm feeling better already maybe also because our relationship has gotten better ? Haha.
GF crash my lecture for a little while and then we both went off to Mensar, she ate her lunch and we went to computer lab to do her project. She had a hard time searching for the article that she needs. Haha. We went off at around 5pm and i manage to see my father before he went for gym. Haha. Went off to buy dinner and meet him, ate Mac and we rested. Woke up and then continue eating cause we didn't really finish it yet.

Went off to Mike's house as it's been so long since we've been there. Bought some food from the petrol station near his house and we went up to eat, watched Shanghai Kiss at the same time, quite an interesting show. Haha. Didn't stayed over but luckily my mum say i can stay over another time. (:
Had a small tiff while walking back to his house, which is obviously NOT my fault, I'm just keeping quiet cause I'm cold and he got angry. HAHA. But all's fine now. Let's hope tomorrow will be a better day and each day his feelings would come back until it's full tank. Haha.
At least i get 2 hugs and 2 kisses before i left for my house. (:

You have no idea.
I'm always standing in front of you, protecting you.
I'm always thinking of you first before of myself, I'm always doing things that's best for you.
Turns out to be useless in the end.

xiiaozhu-

Updating

Sunday 18JAN09
I was crying half the day at home, until evening or late afternoon then i stopped. My maid talked to me about many meaningful things but still, easier said than done. Evening my mum asked me along to go to Giant to shop. So i went off, met them at mac ate our dinner over there and i almost vomitted, maybe it's because I've been eating mac for about 4 days ? LOL.
Went to Giant, walked around. Saw one speaker which is damn loud and clear, if only i could have it. Hahaha. Bought shelf for myself and they bought table for themselves too. Nothing much after that cause Giant is not really the place for ME to shop. xD I go giant i will only look at VCDs, plasma tvs, sound system and i think mostly technology stuff. HAHA.
Wanted to meet that bastard but he didn't want. So i might as well don't force him, so i went to meet jerrer at TM, he bought the vcd for his father and i saw PI LI MIT !! So tempted to buy but i already watched finish everything. LOL.
After that i forgot where we went, but i think he brought me to a place very near tampines stadium. Sat at the playground there, talking talking. Then i saw this guy training his husky.
Went over to touch it, SO SO SO GENTLE !! :D

Then after a while, many of his friends came, so altogether there were 1 golden retriever and total of 3 huskys. LOL. I almost can't control the temptation to go over and touch every dog but i felt shy. HAHA. Then he went over to buy jolly shandy AGAIN at 7 eleven then he bought me some thing that i used to love when i was young. Hahaha. Went back there, sit and chat then went home after that.
Quarrelled on the phone AGAIN before sleeping. Zzz.

Monday 19JAN09
Happy 2 years 5months...
Didn't took any pictures cause it's a very very very weird n unhappy day. Quarrelled on the phone AGAIN and then i sat outside library alone waiting and waiting. Sigh, but i made a new friend ! HAHA so cool and she's such a nice girl. (: Thanks PJ for accompanying me all the while on the phone. He came over... we both felt very unhappy n weird. Nothing much but arguements.
Went over TM to find his friends, kinda feel left out but i guess it's suppose to be like this. They went to central after that. Then shan ding after that to slack, 2 cats that are so so so adorable !! Omg, bought food for them and they were so happy. Hahaha.
Nothing much after that, reached home around 1.40am. Went home alone cause someone is so not a gentleman, no hug also.
Didn't manage to go overseas cause my proj is due on FRIDAY! Zzzz i was intending to go, hahaha luckily bird told me. Sorry jon mummy, i'll go another time with you guys ! :D

Tuesday 20JAN09
Quarrelled in the morning AGAIN! Sigh. I was having a bad dream yesterday and I'm unable to sleep well. When i finally slept, i didn't manage to wake up for school. Zzz Sigh FRIENDS give me morning call whenever school starts at 9am ! Haha morning call at 7.30am ! Thanks ! :D LOL.
He came over, washed Bell's cage and then wanted to prepare to leave for the polyclinic. Then wrestling started. Sighhh it ended like a few hours. Driving both of us insane, and at that time i honestly i lost my clear mind, i can't think properly because I'm too agitated.
Over here, i wanna sincerely apologise for EVERYTHING.
These few days kept quarrelling, it really sucks.
Hope after today everything will be fine, will be better.
Also thank YOU for giving in. (:

Alright off to do my proj ! :D
xiiaozhu-

The pain.

What am i doing to myself ? Every single day i torture myself with the thoughts of him, the words he said, the reaction and actions he gave me.

I asked him "if you were to choose those friends and me, who were you to choose ?"

"Both"

"why?"

"don't ask already"

He said "I'm myself with them and i feel v happy n comfortable with them"

"then why i see you like not really yourself when you're with them"

"because you're over there what"

one minute of silence.

Now i realize those things that i once gave him became so useless. I'm heartbroken yet i have to act like I'm tough, and i have to act like i don't give a damn about it.

I still remembered, his friends put him aeroplane on his birthday while i celebrated with him. An event as important as birthday, his friends at the very last minute say they can't make it.

Every problem he face, every difficulty he face, I'm always the very first to stand in front of him and protect him. I'm always the very first one to be there for him.

Am i stupid ?

To be with a person who no longer love me as much as before ? It's as though it's a one sided love.

To suffer everytime i felt his coldness.

The pain on my finger, on my hand, on my leg can't be compared to the pain I'm feeling in my heart.

Everything is not the same. I wonder if now i do things it would make him happy or make him feel awkward. I can stare at something blank for quite some time, like an idiot. My mind went blank and i lost expressions. I often stay still for a period of time until i realize I'm stoning then i started to move. What is going on with me ? Who will be willing to pull me out of this damn thing?

Is he worth all these ? We might be too young to talk about marriage, but if we're not gonna talk about marriage, i won't go into a relationship because it will end sooner or later, so why go into the relationship.

I don't feel like saying anymore.

I hope the person who is doing all these to me, could stop soon or even feel a little guilty.

xiiaozhu-

Secret

I have some pictures but i won't be posting them. (:
Torturous days, suffering day after day waiting for an answer. Suffering so much until my parents are so worried and concern about me.
I seriously hate seeking my mum's advice. LOL, next time i definitely will just look for my dad and won't look for her already. I prefer my dad. (:
After so so many problems, i learn to open my eyes bigger already. I see who are friends that are truly concern about me, i know who are my true friends, i know who are friends who will always be there for me. Seriously, I'm disappointed by the fact.
Still i have many people to thank for. (: Won't be naming out all, but of course I'll name out those really did helped A LOT.
Chris, Shawn, GF, Mike, and I'm really touched by how pj care for me. Thanks pj, for everything, and of course Randy for your concern.
Sorry people for not naming out all, but you know who you are.

I went through a lot this 1 week plus. Tough tough tough time which i almost couldn't make it through without the help of SO many people.
I'm getting more n more lazy to post alrdy. So goodbye for now.

I'll blog again when my mood improves.
xiiaozhu-

Moving on

Went to school yesterday and met my friends before going the class. Macro is something i missed for so many times ! Hahaha yeah but still i caught some things. Didn't manage to copy macro notes cause of some reasons which i don't wish to say here.
Didn't help out much in the Commskills proj, I'm so sorry groupmates.
At the same time i have to thank Song and GF for coming to find me. (: So long since I've seen Song, talked a lot then went central to meet Mike and Shafiq. Hahaha i didn't even know there's a Shafiq in our school. =x

He looks good for a malay guy. Haha. Then they ate their dinner, and then went to see the doctor. I won't say what the doctor say but I'm having stomach flu. Then when i did things i forgot that i didn't eat my dinner, but forget is also cause I'm not that hungry anyway. Hahaha these few days i lost quite a few kg maybe ? If only i can weigh myself.

Went to mike house just for a little while then i went home. Taxi driver uncle was a very nice person. (: Went home, hugged my dad and my maid. LOL. I won't say details then after that went out again. Just downstairs my house to slack, went to EP 7 eleven to buy water also, i forgot how jolly shandy look like -.- LOL. Talked talked until around 1plus then i went upstairs, watch my show and SLEEP! Heehee.

Now I'm awake, but because i don't know whether to eat lunch alone or not, maybe I'll find someone to eat with me. I need my pencil ! Hahaha gonna have to buy my pencil already. OH yeah thanks Shawn for coming to school to pass me my MC. (:
I think i have to slowly save that $100 already, because I'm most probably quitting sunset bay. Miss me people ok!

Back to my show!
Oh yeah and I'm making my blog private, I'll only invite those i wanna invite, so people ! Better read before i make it private ok! Hahaha.
xiiaozhu-

When you chose the path of no return.

So cute right ! White one and looked up to me ! Haha.
Ehhh let's continue the day. Haha. I went home right, then i used my lappy.
Oh yeah forgot to mention, congrats to those who can go into the poly and courses that they want alright ! I'm so proud for Rac cause she did so well. (:
Was waiting for Chris to call me then when i received his phone call i was so so happy for him ! His results are GOOD! Haha.
For Alan, think properly for your future, think what's best for you, i won't say u shouldn't think of what you want, you shld but also sometimes what u want might not be what's best for you. I bet your friends had already gave you advices that you need.
PJ, don't be upset ! Your results are not bad also. Don't worry too much about it.
For those who can't manage to go to poly, don't be too upset okay, there's always an option in life, work hard for your goal and you can do it. (:

Went home a while and then JY said he's upset too, so i suggested going out tgt. Met him at 201 and then we took bus 12 to DTE. We walked the whole of E!hub, then we went to pasir ris park. Hahaha chatted a lot over there, but the wind is freezing ! LOL. Then i wanna go to the toilet so we went back to DTE. Then he say he feel like going central, so we went there. He say he wanna go shop and save so we went, we had so much laughter in there ! Hahaha! He says that he loves exploring supermarket -.- The weirdest thing I've ever heard. Haha! We walked around the whole of shop and save, got amazed by some weird stuff and got disgusted by some weird stuffs too. Hahahha. But we both have many things in common right, love apples, love corn, love to press those meat/sausages/soft & tender stuff. HAHAHA. It's really retarded in the supermarket, the thought of it even made me laugh a little. Hahaha.

He bought for me a water bottle, and we went to shan ding to slack slack. Played with the cat, SUPER cute then we chatted a lot. I have no idea why i ran off at that point, felt so silly. Hahaha, JY said he was like wondering what's going on. LOL. Yeah it was stupid. Saw Belvin and we chatted a little, catching up with each other. Hahaha he's still the same -.- Felt so guilty for leaving JY alone over there. Benjie korkor called me too thanks for your concern !! Will be waiting for you to come out! LOL.
Then went to the coffeeshop to meet mike and the rest. Sat there and started chatting, talking. Wanted to go home already, but don't feel like it yet so we went to the voiddeck to rest and talk even more. Hahaha. Hey thanks mike a lot a lot (:
& I'm so sorry JY for leaving u alone so long ! Hahaha, u must felt so bored at that point of time, but i still wanna thank you for being there for me !! :D
I seriously love your chinese name. Hahaha and your ITOUCH IS COOLER THAN MINE ! LOL. One day I'll swop it without you knowing. xD

School tomorrow and these few days I'm feeling better each day. (: I wanna thank those people for those great advices that get me through the day. Yep, he chose this path of no return, he would regret it in the future for not listening to mike's words in the pub, not listening to my words too.
As friends, if you guys ever read this, be it alan or darryl or who else, i hope you guys know that you're having holidays but shannon is not. He still has school early in the morning, he still have to study to increase his GPA. I hope you guys would think for him and know what's best of him.

I think i have to start worrying about myself ! I have absolute no idea about PORM , RA, Bus stats new lecture notes !! *DEAD* LOL.

xiiaozhu-

April darling.

So adorable right ! Hahaha. Somehow i feel that it looks like a pig. xD

LOL! So cute right ! Hahaha.

Her hair stylo milo. (:

Nothing much today, didn't went to school in morning, got woken up by messages. Haha. Talked on the phone with a few people this morning. (:

My good friend accompanied me to take mc today, so sua gu, dnknw the procedure of taking medicine, paying and waiting for my turn. -.- LOL.

Went back to PRCS to get my testimonial, felt so stupid the office people went home early already !! We were like late for 15mins, and of course, i got scolded by my good friend. LOL. So sorry okay but at least we spent time together ! :D

Twice, we wanted to take the taxi but the bus always came first, fated i guess. Haha.

Went home together. Thank you good friend ! (:

Aaron have a toy poodle !! Called meimei, SO SO SO ADORABLE ! Hahaha.

Alright dnknw whether I'm going out again not, but most probably i have to go out. LOL.

I took a video of april playing with me ! Hahahaha so so so cute.

xiiaozhu-

PI LI MIT ! hahaha

I have so many people to thank for !! here this, there. LOL. But I'm kinda happy today.
Thank mummy la, thank daddy also. HAHA. Mummy suddenly becomes nice. hahaha. & i had a longgggg chat with my longgggg lost friend. Haha it's kinda worth it.
It's like i found so many friends after my problem came. So so many friends, i found so so many people. (: I'm really happy about that.

Tomorrow is the release of o levels results ! Hahaha good luck to everyone who are getting it okay ! Especially Alan, i think u need a lot a lot of good luck. LOL. Chris, I KNOW u can do it. Sure pass. Hahahaha. Also, the others, Rachael, PJ, Joyna, Nikki, Darryl, Alex, Guoxin, Yanxiang, Belvin, Jaena, Michelle, and i really dnknw who else. LOL. Hope to hear the good news from you guys ! :D

I have to wait another week for pi li mit to be out again. -.-

I hope April won't leave me so soon yet. We have 6 more years together ! Hahaha.

Work is getting more n more tired. I'm getting more n more sick of that place already. Argh.

I love pigs ! Haha buy me pigs and i would smile for the whole day (: (: (:
xiiaozhu-

LOL

I guess I'm still using this blog ! HAHA Lazy to ask everyone to relink me and also thinking about a new url. -.-
I'm just gonna change the blogskin, maybe tomorrow. LOL. Still quite lazy about changing it although i have found a few suitable ones. Hahaha.

Didn't went to school today, morning woke up and then tears flow like when you on the tap water. LOL. Actually he was here because i want to pass him a letter from me. Thinking back, it's such a waste/pity of ending this r/s right ? LOL.
Tonight will be the last day cause I'm giving him this last chance tonight, so if he do not cherish it then he don't deserve any more chances from me.
I might cry night after night before i sleep but i know i will stop crying when i know that he's not worth it. LOL. Eventually... xD!

Alright ! There's work tmr ! Wonder whether shld i quit?
xiiaozhu-

I even thought of the present I'm gonna give for 2 years 5 month anniversary.
Now i know it's hopeless already. I hestitate again and again and this relationship dragged and dragged.
Both of us are not ready to let go yet. I can see that I'm not ready and as strong as i thought.

To him i just wanna say i hope you know what you're doing without me around. Know what's good and what's right for you. Study hard and work hard, make your mother feel proud of you. Go into the poly and the course that you dream of going to and make sure you work hard for it.

To myself i hope i can be stronger and also be sure of the decisions that i make. The words and things that i say too.

Sigh all the memories, my tears just kept flowing non stop once i thought of him not being around with me. I know it's because i still love him. But i need to know that loving a person doesn't mean you can't let go. Now Shannon, I'm letting go of you.
I'm free-ing myself at the same time.

Now i know the difference between the both of us. I let out my emotions too easily. I get angry very very easily and jealous too.
I know it's a pity for our r/s to end like this because we shared so many things together and we had so so many memories, 2 years 4 months is not a short period of time. It's long enough for me to not even know how long would i take to forget a person like you, how long would i take to get serious with the next r/s and how long would i take to be happy again.

Single is a new start for me. I know i might still be bothered with what you're doing right now, where are you, and who are you with. But still i won't trouble you anymore, I'll stop everything today.
It's a new start for both of us. This blog will remain like this forever, I'm creating a new one and this blog would remain as memories of the both of us. (:

Photos i won't delete and i will keep everything intact until i have the next r/s because these memories are like part of my life already. Doesn't mean i throw everything away I'm able to forget you faster, I'm a person who will look back and i know throwing away these does not help me to forget you any bit faster.

Lastly, I still love you my boy, I'll miss you terribly but i still hope we both can find our own happiness soon.

Double disappointment

I thought you have learnt your lesson.
But why am i always getting disappointment from you.
Why are you always making me tear, making me upset, making me troubling over your stuff.
This time i wanna be alone already.. I had enough.
I will be alone until i feel better.
Just cried finish and i felt better, music is sort of a medicine for me. Ha.

It's just too bad and too sad that you don't deserve a single bit of my trust.

Till then.

PI LI MIT! :D

Didn't went to school yesterday and today. Yesterday was because that stupid shit quarrel with me in the middle of the night. SO SO SO HURT AND UPSET YESTERDAY !! Grrrr. Wanted to let go of him already but he insisted on getting back together. This is frustrating man, although we're ok now but i hope that shit head know what he shldn't say the next time. He actually scold vulgarity at me and insulted me !! How rude is that. Zzzz. Shldn't have allow him to scold vulgarities in the first place. -.- I slept at like 5plus or 6plus am. Alarm rang at 7.30 but i off it and went back to sleep. Hahaha. Thanks Jerrer for accompanying me that night talking and talking on the phone until i realize that I'm using my hp to call OUT ! LOL.
Went to take MC at polyclinic and the doctor suddenly say my throat has a little infection ! T.T Omg i thought i was fine and getting better already. Shocking. LOL but i still didn't use the medicine. xD
Went to pasamalam to walk and we bought a little food and also we bought crayon shin chan vcd. LOL. He's tempted to watch the shows, anyway both of us love that cartoon so why not. LOL. Then we walked around the whole of 201 to look for Snip Avenue but can't seem to find it. LOL.
In the end we cab home sweating and feeling so hot all over. Haha.

Today i didn't went to school again. Felt damn giddy these few days and i thought maybe it's because lack of nutrients because i haven't been taking my lunch and dinner for like 2 days or more already. Stayed at home using laptop and watching this new FABULOUS show ! LOL LOVE IT SO MUCH that i wish all the episodes could faster come out !!! LOL. What to do, there's a super handsome and cool guy and a cute girl in there. How can i miss it.
Bf came to look for me around the afternoon and we slacked at home, him watching tv, me watching my fabulous show. HAHA. Nothing much already. Zzzz.

xiiaozhu-

Late photos

Taken on New Year. People playing fireworks. The dancefloor at Sunset Bay.

Alright, i went to school today, boring commskills lesson again and we have a long break from 11am allll the waaayyy till 2pm. Had lunch at Design school (I'm getting sick of the food there -.-), went to print my survey, thank JOPIE, JIAHUI, CHRIS and my BF for helping me with the survey and then i went up to meet Kereen they all. OH and thank LAO NIANG bird for accompanying me to print the surveys. HAHA.

We chatted the whole break time about nonsense stuff like pregnant and others.... HAHA! Then went for bus stats lesson, i never learn normal distribution cause i didn't went for the lecture on Friday and i actually can do the questions. -.- Am i smart or what ! HAHA! Got back my MST paper for stats AND I PASSED ! *claps* & *more claps* HAHA cause i thought i would fail that paper, although the results are not fantastic, i think it's already good that i passed the paper. To think that me not being around during lecture for more than 3 times actually can pass the paper. HAHA.

Bf came to find me after that. Omg miss him sooo much. Haha. Thanks darling for coming to find me. He sent me to Eastpoint then he took a very comfy cab to work. I'm missing u already ! ):

xiiaozhu-

NEW HP!

I bought an extra hp for myself !! So happy. Hahaha although it's not the colour that i want. So now my motorola V9 would be a spare phone. (:
Woke up today and went for work. Nobody arrived yet except for us, did all the work and it was so hot ! LOL today was okay, except i got disturbed by the same old people - Aris and Haifi. LOL.
Bf was kinda unhappy today due to some reasons. CHEER UP alright ! Everything is different after the new OM came but don't worry it will be over soon alright. Just bear with it for the moment.
Took salary today and immediately after that went to buy my phone !! Wooo now i have the same phone as Jolene. LOL! I think that phone suits girl more than guy. Take note of that ok bf. HAHA.

School tomorrow and I'm so zzzz lazy to go. HAHA but i will be there. I MISS ALL MY FRIENDS ! :D

xiiaozhu-

Not caring boyfriend.

After going polyclinic to get my MC and stupid medicines, bf came to find me after he had done his things. After that went searching for the phone that i want so much but to no avail. T.T went to have our lunch at the foodcourt - CS. Went home after that, rest and went off to mike house AGAIN. LOL! Brought my little darling over, April and she suffered so much over there. Lucky we're there to save her if not i think she would be dead. HAHA. 1 dog love her so much, another wants to attack her. HAHAHA.
We watched shows, ate pizzahut, played A LOT of card games and then after my medicine i was sleepy already so went home. By the time i reached home, gonna sleep anytime, my cough started again. Zzzz so i had a hard time sleeping, i finally slept at around 6plus am i think which is super pathetic.

Just woke up not long ago and i guess I'm staying at home, not spending any money so i can buy my new phone ! Haha. I want it like today ! Now ! Haha!

& I'm super super unhappy with the stupid IG thing yesterday night. Informing me the very last minute, saying i have a briefing at 10am today. And informing that Monday i have to stay back to help out. This is insane la, everything at the last minute so i decided to quit. Sent the email and I'm really dying to quit that stupid lame IG. Regret joining, it's NO fun at all, boring shit. All we get was meetings, briefings, and MORE meetings. No events, no nothing.

xiiaozhu-

2009 wishes.

Didn't had a chance to wish everyone out there. Enjoy 2009 and hope that it will be a good year for everyone ! :D
People in a relationship, hope that they will treasure each other more because for a couple to be in love doesn't come by so easily. Treasure what you have shared with that person. Also hope that no third parties would come between them. (:
People who are not in a relationship, don't be upset because single has it's advantages too. (: Treasure your friends, do not take them for granted. And also, hope that singles would find their love ones soon too ! :D

Hope everyone's families will always stay healthy and happy.

xiiaozhu-

Get well soon.

Weds i finally went to school. For porm, got back our papers, scored 31/50 HAHA was kinda shocking to me. LOL
Met ston at the bus stop, chatted all the way back to simei. Haha. Niceeee guy (:
Met bf at eastpoint, went to popular then went home for lunch.
Watched tv, rest a while and off we went for work. Zzzz Work till 4am !! No wonder my illness got worse.
It was quite fun actually. Lucky i have Jolene beside me if not I'll be bored to death. Kept coughing and coughing. Zzzz. First time countdown at work. LOL. But i think it was alright cause everyone was making noise and having fun, including the staffs. Haha. Later at night, there's a big fight, yeah kinda serious hope those staff that are injured take care of themselves.
Reached home like 5plus am and slept immediately. LOL

Woke up in the afternoon on thursday which is new year. Damn tired, but parents wanna go out so we went town together. Bought clothes for Chinese New Year, went to mike house and then went home. TRIED TO SLEEP AT NIGHT but i kept coughing and coughing. Can't sleep until i cannot take it, go drank the cough syrup and then i fell asleep. LOL.
Didn't manage to wake up to go to school today, so sorry for the girls in my group. ):
Later I'll go to the polyclinic AGAIN to take MC. Zzzz.

xiiaozhu-